Things that make me go "HMMMMMM"

For example...the hot mess pictured above. You have all the money in the world, yet you choose to walk out in public looking like this. You look like a cross between a crack whore and Holly Madison (Hugh Hefner's #1 girlfriend from "The Girls Next Door.) Note to you Brit..YOU ARE A MOTHER. You have two young children. Granted this hasn't stopped you in the past from making bad life choices, but I thought you were on a better life path after the divorce from K.Fed and the head shaving incident. Next time take a look in the mirror before you leave your crack den.

Here are some other things that I have recently been pondering....
-Boob tattoos: I am going to put it out there and say I am not a fan of tattoos. I think they are generally trashy and my first thought is "You are going to be 80 years old, sitting in a nursing home with the Chinese symbol for "Love" on your wrist while you gum mashed potatoes since your teeth have fallen out. BUT....out of all tats, the boob tattoo goes down in history as trashy tattoo EVER. What the hell would possess you to whip your breast out on a tattoo table and let some "Tattoo Artist" named Spike color your breast? I once met a radio listener who had the Wal-Mart yellow smiley face on her left and right breast. WTF. She said she got it when she was drunk, but once I caught sight of a missing tooth in her mouth, something told me that was a lie.

-Talon toe nails: Unless you plan on catching your dinner with your toe nails, there is no reason why your toe nails should be long. Toe nails and fingernails are two different things. Fingernails are meant to have length...toes are not. No one wants to see your janky toe nails filed to a pointy point. Keep them short, filed and well groomed. If you have chipped nail polish, you better fix them yourself or call and get yourself a pedicure. I understand it's hot and you want to wear flops, but keep them looking nice!

-Socks and Crocs: They don't go together. What are you trying to protect? Your feet from getting sweaty inside a heinous plastic clog with holes? This combo is especially henious when paired with a pair of shorts. You will typically see this look worn by moms, dads or by anyone shopping at Wal-Mart. This can also be said for any sandal. The words "sock" and "sandal" do not go together, hence why you should not pair it up when you leave the house.