Katie G. VS Coco T.

Welcome back. It has been well over a year since I have been on this blog. OY. My MBA took up a majority of 2011 as well as working 2 jobs. I am living the dream.

I felt it was time to resurrect this blog since I recently discovered after watching Sunday night's episode of "Watch What Happens Live" with Andy Cohen with guests Coco T (from Ice Loves Coco) that Coco and I are the SAME AGE. WTF. Mind you...Coco is 4 months and 14 days older than me (yes I did the math.) HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?!?! My first thought was "do I look as old as Coco T?" Don't get me wrong...I love Coco T. I think her show is hilarious and she seems like a perfectly nice person, but how the hell is this woman the same age as me?

In my defense I thought Coco T was older than me since she is married to Ice T who looks like he is in his 50's. I just googled him and he is 54. It would make perfect sense to put Coco T in the 40+ age category. Seems appropriate. This season Coco T has been struggling with high blood pressure and getting it down so she can have a baby. My thoughts all along were "girl you better get on it SOON because you are old." Now I come to find out she is my age?!?!? AH!

After learning of this information, I immediately messaged my sister on Facebook since she is an avid viewer of any programing on E! Her response "Maybe it is the botox?" Okay....maybe it is the Botox. Not feeling comforted by that response, I immediately text message my mom. Mom's response...AND I QUOTE:

"I thought she was 40 also and wondered why she was taking her time getting pregnant. Now she has a little time. And NO you do not look like a tricked out 45 year old pony with too much makeup and a dryer sheet addition."

I love my mom.

Tired

This morning while putting my makeup on, I had the TODAY show on in the background as I do most mornings. They were reporting on the latest from Bev Hills and the latest Charlie Sheen scandal. Hospitalized with chest pains, partying with adult porn stars, drunk off his ass..yada, yada. Same story...different day. It got me thinking about all of the things in the news that I am SO TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT. So here they are for your reading pleasure:

-"The Homeless Man with the Golden Voice"-Latest is his mom is begging him to go back to rehab after he checked himself out a week ago. Great rags to riches story. Goes to show the power of You Tube. After posting the video he gets a billion job offers, they clean him up, cut his hair and reunite him with his mom. Great. But if you go from owning a just a cardboard sign and a camo jacket to all of a sudden flying all over the world and getting every job offer imaginable, do you blame the guy for having a celebratory drink? Unfortunately for me, now when I hear him on the Kraft commercials talking about how "yummy" Kraft macaroni and cheese is all I visualize is him as a homeless guy and I loose my appetite. That nappy hair and snarled teeth....yuck.

-The Royal Wedding- Who gives a flip? They dated for a billion years and now they are getting married. YES..that is what people do after a billion years of dating. Enough of the "royal countdown" to wedding day. I am over it. I will not be waking up at 3 AM to watch the wedding happening live. I can only hope William keeps his willy devoted to Cate and doesn't find a heinous broad like Camilla.

-Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan- I am tired of both of these train wrecks. I understand that drugs and alcohol are serious demons for most people, but I am so tired of hearing about every line of coke, every "non-alcoholic" drink they are drinking..etc..etc. The fact that Charlie Sheen is still employed and is apparently the highest paid actor in Hollywood is appalling. He is a world class douche bag who needs to be in a straight jacket for a month and fed bread and water only.

Winter blah

So apparently I am not the only one feeling the winter blah's. Aaron Carter just checked into treatment for "emotional and spiritual issues." AKA..you are blowing coke and boozing into the wee hours of the morning. Secondly..does anyone care about Aaron Carter? He is a washed up celeb who happened to star on "Dancing with the Stars." Which in my opinion that show is full of washed up celebs anyway. Brandy..Jennifer Gray....Brooke Burke..come on. The fact that Aaron Carter has checked into rehab made the People.com webpage means it was a slow news day! He is hoping to gain "guidance and cleansing" from this experience. How about to take a shower and hit up monster.com? There is a novel idea Aaron Carter.

January is such a BLAH month. It has been snowing like a mother outside and I started thinking about how I feel now about the snow versus how I felt about the snow when I was 12. When heavy snow used to fall I would PRAY to GOD that school would be canceled. No school meant playing all day in my snowsuit with my sister, hopping inside for lunch and a hot chocolate, back outside for some more snow and then inside for the night. I remember snow days being so much fun! Now when the meteorologist calls for snow, I pray that he is wrong, so I don't have to worry about getting up early, warming up my car for 15 minutes, snow boots and falling in the snow! It is funny how our opinions on thing change as we get older. I am SO ready for sunshine, air conditioning, iced teas, flip flops and painted toes!

Let It Snow..Let It Snow..HELL NO!

So I am not a huge fan of the snow. I was praying, wishing, hoping (just ask my co-workers) that my MBA class was canceled last night, but ALAS our teacher said that class was on. I showed up early and sat through a riveting discussion centered around Economics. Class was dismissed around 8:30 PM and as I stood in the parking lot warming up my car, dusting the snow off with my new $5 ice scraper/broom from Walmart (thanks Wally World) I realized something. I truly hate the snow and I need to move to Hawaii. My MBA is scheduled to wrap up this December (WHOOP WHOOP) so why not get my graduation on, pack up and buy a one way ticket to laid of frozen cocktails, sharks and hula skirts?

This idea sounded even better this morning as I AGAIN stood outside trying to shovel my car out from under 3 inches of snow. I really do hate the snow. The cold weather I can handle. That is what they make cute jackets, fake UGGS and gloves for. It is just the snow I can't handle. People drive like jackholes (causing accidents) while others FREAK THE F*&K out acting the end of the world is upon us. I am already tired of this weather and it is only January 11th. OY. If the ground hog predicts 6 more weeks of winter I am going to kick him in the jaw.

I'm Baaaccckkk.....

So for all of you that may be keeping up with my blog, I apologize that I have been MIA for the past few months. Fall travel has been kicking my butt, but now that I am parked at the American Royal until Saturday, bring on the blogging!

I just returned from Massachusetts yesterday after working Equine Affaire in West Springfield, Massachusetts. It is a HUGE horse expo where people can pick up anything from riding gear to horse feed to adopting a horse! I have only been on a horse twice in my entire life, so having my co-worker Kristen nearby to help answer any horse related questions certainly helped. Enough about the horse world though. On to the real though in my head today.....

By the grace of God I haven't had to endure much airline travel this travel season due to a local territory (Kansas, Northwest Missouri and Nebraska. Thank you boss lady!) However the Southwest flight from Baltimore to Kansas City was a flight from hell thanks to the SPAWN OF THE DEVIL located in row 15, seat B.

I don't think I am the first to admit this, but when I see a parent with child under the age of 5 anywhere near my boarding gate, I cringe. I immediately begin praying that the parent has "accidentally" given that child a dose of Benadryl or something else that will force them to sleep on the plane. I know there are haters out there who say "you are not a parent...you don't know what it is like to travel with a small child." YES...you are correct, but I also know there are plenty of ways to keep a small child occupied. I have been babysitting since the age of 10 and know that it doesn't take much to keep a small child engaged and occupied. My sister and I flew all the time when were were little and our mom always packed a travel bag complete with fun things for us to do. (Granted this was back in the 80's so a coloring book was big time!) We ALWAYS looked forward to getting in the car or on the plane so we could open the bag and find out what was inside! Now a days there are PLENTY of things for kids to play with.... coloring books, story books, board games, Nintendo DS, DVD players with Dora or Bob the Builder, feeding them or resorting to a small dose of Benadryl will do the trick. I know your child means the world to you, but the rest of the occupants on the plane don't think your precious child is so wonderful when they are screaming "I WANT JUICE" 15 times on a 3 hour flight.

The spawn of the devil happened to be on board flight 1589 from Baltimore to Kansas City on November 15, 2010. He was seated 4 rows behind me and he made my life a living hell. He woke me up from a very peaceful nap with his constant screaming "I WANT JUICE" while his brother was screaming something about about wanting crackers. I was only 4 rows ahead of him, but I was ready to get a parachute and jump and or relocate myself to the lavatory for the duration of the flight for some peace and damn quiet! I can't imagine how miserable the people directly around this hell hole felt. At one point I considered dinging the flight attendant light and asking for ear plugs. Thankfully the little diablo shut his hole with about an hour to landing. Of course once we were deplaning the aircraft, I looked over and Satan was sleeping. OF COURSE. I did shoot the mom several dirty looks. I hope she got the message. However if you are reading this blog and know of a single mom traveling with two blonde haired boys on the Southwest flight 1589 from Baltimore to Kansas City....please feel free to forward this blog on to her.

Thoughts on the VMA's

What a night huh? I had high hopes for the VMA's this year, mostly because Chelsea Handler was hosting and I secretly hope to be her. I am not going to lie when I say she sucked and she probably needs to stick to hosting her show on E! From her horrible OBVIOUS hair extensions to her rehearsed humor, I was pretty disappointed. Now on to the show....

• Lindsay Lohan cameo: Honey....no one cares about you anymore. Your cameo was dumb and your career is ruined. High tail it back to rehab and get the serious help you need. Either that or go borrow some "gum" from Paris Hilton to get your name back in the news.

• Usher: In one word...YUMMY. That man can do no wrong. LOVED the set and how he was able to slide down the different levels! SO COOL! He is an amazing dancer and performer. Tamika (whatever her last name was) AKA the ex-wife is probably kicking herself for letting that hot piece get away.

• Justin Bieber: OKAY...so I love this kid. I realize it is probably illegal to love him as he is only 16 or something, but I think he is just precious. With that being said, the fans who probably waited 24 hours to see your "live" concert outside the Nokia theater were instead treated to an amazing dance performance and that is it. Who were you kidding trying to pass that off as a "live performance?" Yes, you had the microphone thing by your mouth, but you were clearly pulling an Ashley Simpson. Nice try.

• Taylor Swift/Kanye controversy: I must commend Taylor and her song. She truly is a class act. She addressed what happened and offered her friendship to the world's largest D.Bag. Then Kanye comes out with what we all expected to be an apology to Miss Swift, but instead it was a song about D. Bags, A-holes and other jerk-offs. WHAT???? I admit I did laugh when I heard the song, but as a fellow pal on Facebook put it..."you call that talent? I beg to differ." I would have to agree. That was total crap. I for one am so tired of Kanye's crap. You had a few good hits back in the day and I can still get down to "Gold digger." Hang it up buddy. You are DONE.

• Lady Gaga: HOT MESS. Enough said. She is truly a weirdo. Anyone that calls themselves a "little monster" probably shops at Hot Topic and also needs help.

• CHER: How amazing was that????? I am not the biggest Cher fan, but to come out in that infamous outfit and to still be able to rock it? She is one bad mamba jamba.
  

Busy as a bee....

I never thought I would say this, but I am SO looking forward to August being over! My life has been so hectic and at times, I seriously thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown! Taking 2 classes, working 40 hours at my full-time job, in addition to a part-time job things were getting nutty. I can honestly say for the first time today, my "to do" list is relatively short! It's a miracle!

Here are some things that have been on my mind:

-College Freshman: I may be single, but NO I do not want to date them. So most of you know that I am a recruiter for a wonderful University here in Missouri. Move-in was on Wednesday and there were many excited, nervous faces that arrived on campus. It made me think about my own freshman year (12 freaking years ago) SWEET JESUS. What a nerve-wracking time, but at the same time I wish I could go back. College goes by SO fast and before you know it, you will be out in the real world, paying real world bills. So take advantage of college now! Treasure the late nights with pals, drunk nights eating pizza in a parking lot and last minute test cramming. God I miss college. Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

-Rain: I got caught in a pretty bad rainstorm this morning. I hate rain and swear in another life I was a cat. When it rains why do people say "well we really needed it." Are you a farmer? Why do people say that? It is just nervous chatter? It is dumb to me. Speaking of weather...if you are a Meteorologist and you can't pronounce your profession correctly (Missouri Meteorologists I am talking to you) then you either need to pick another profession OR you need to start working with a speech pathologist.

-Giuliana Rancic: I would KILL for this woman's job. Reporting on E! News nightly (I would however have to OFF Seacrest) I was sad when she took her married name. DePandi was so much better than Rancic. Anywho...last night while watching E! I noticed she has bangs. They are heinous. Her stylist needs to be fired. Grab a bobby pin and pin those suckers back. No good. While they are busy pinning her hair back, they also need to force feed Giuliana. That woman needs a snack. She looks like a skeleton. Like I said, I have more than enough meat on my bones and I don't have bangs, so I would be a fantastic replacement. Call me E!