Holy Hell

It's been awhile since my last blog! I have been SUPER busy and I apologize to all my loyal fans (all two of you!) Ha Ha. Lots has happened since my last post. I traveled to Orlando, Florida for a work conference and although it was hot as hell and full of small children on the lookout for Mickey Mouse, I survived. I did however need a day of quiet in my apartment once I returned to Columbia!

Since I am obsessed with everything Bravo TV....I am going to do a spin off on this blog entry and copy Andy Cohen in awarding my own"Mazels" and "Jackholes" of my week.

First up....my Mazels:

• Mazel to WWU for getting me an I Phone. I realize this is for job purposes only, but I can already tell this little machine is going to change my life. Now if I can only figure out how to work the damn thing.
• Mazel to the California court system for sticking it to Lindsay Lohan and carting her ass to jail. Although she probably won't serve out the entire 3 months as originally sentenced, watching her march into the court house being sprinkled with gold glitter really made my day. The mug shot was priceless and the constant reports from ET and E! about "what Lindz is eating in jail (rumored bread and butter) is riveting.
• Mazel to Teen Mom: its back and in full force on MTV. Thank you for bringing back another season of full blown white trashiness! From Farrah's mom almost being shot by the Iowa police, to baby Leah climbing around a Health Department exam room, to the most WHITE TRASH Dad EVER...Butch, this season is going to serve up another season of drama and frankly...I can't wait!

Now on to my jackholes of the week:

• Colds: I got a damn cold this week and it totally sucked. Don't you know I have better things to do with my time than be popping Sudafed every 4 to 6 hours, Vitamin C pills and blowing my nose every 2 minutes? Plus I had to go to Wal-Mart and had to go through a background check just to obtain the Sudafed. Do I look like I run a Meth lab out of my house? I know I do live in Missouri, but I do have all my teeth, so that should be an sign that I am probably good to go.
• Eclipse (the movie): So I am now totally obsessed with the Twilight series again. I thought New Moon was disappointing so I sort of boycotted the whole series. Well I read Eclipse while on my Orlando vacay and saw the movie last weekend. The book was definitely better than the movie. This jackhole award really goes out to Kristen Stewart. Can you act any less interested in playing Bella Swan? Seriously???? You get to make out with R. Patts and Taylor Lautner who is even meatier this movie. Get in to your kissing scenes a little more...PLEASE????? Try to act like you care. I stayed up until 12:30 AM to get to the honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn last night, so you better turn it up. If you would like trade jobs, you are more than welcome to come meet with prospective students and give barn tours. I would gladly make out with Robert Pattinson for you. I'm just saying....
  
• People magazine: I usually love you, but I got my latest mag in the mail yesterday and who is on the cover? Angelina Jolie talking about "her life with Brad." WHO THE HELL CARES?????? We get it PEOPLE. She is married to one hot ass man, has a million children (3 of which are biologically hers) she is good will ambassador and she makes movies. WE GET IT. Stop putting that woman on the cover. Enough is enough.