Saturday Shenanigans

So it is currently 2:47 PM and I need a nap. Saturday's are normally a day that I reserve for strictly slothing around, catching up on missed episodes of The Hills, Real Housewives of NJ and NY and the occasional "edited for time" movie on Oxygen or Lifetime. However this Saturday, June 12th started out very different.

My cousin Ali is getting married today in Omaha, NE. I couldn't be happier for her! Although I haven't seen her in a few years (due to living apart in various states) Ali, her sister Nikki, my sister Andrea and I pretty much kicked it most of our childhood and adolescent years. Our mom's are sisters and we are all conveniently one year apart in age. I remember many play dates during the holidays at the Grandparents Mitzlaff as well as the "summer swap" where we would stay with them for a week at their house in Omaha, NE and they would stay one week with us in Lincoln, NE, where Ali would always end up "falling" in the green sludge in the creepy creek my mom let us play in. This all took place during the 80's where no one really talked about child molesters and creepers....if people would have been talking about this then, we probably wouldn't have been allowed to play in the creek because it was creepy and Chris Hansen and the gang of "To Catch a Predator" probably would have been camped out. Anywho....we go way back and there is NO way I am missing this wedding! Plus as a bonus it is an opportunity to get together with my mom's side of the family. It should be fun time knowing the cast of characters...especially if there is an open bar......

So my day starts off at 8 AM driving to meet my parents in Parkville, MO so I don't have to drive the 5 hours to Omaha from Columbia, MO by myself. It is freaking POURING DOWN rain when my Mom and Dad pull up next to me. I look over and see my mom getting out of the car to "help" with a small umbrella with Walmart smiley faces all over it. Meanwhile, Dad is parked nice and dry behind the wheel, not lifting a damn finger to help. I finally tell my Mom to get her ass back in the car while I shove everything in the backseat. Once in the car, I take a wiff and the car smells like a foot. My father has decided this is the day he is going to eat smoky beef jerky and smoked almonds...TOGETHER. WTF?!!! Anyone who knows my Dad, knows he is a workout freak and generally takes care of body. Why he picked THIS DAY of all rainy days in a small 2010 Toyota Corolla to eat these two random foods...I will never know.

Once we arrive in Omaha, my parents had to jet to another wedding and I am at the hotel until it is time to leave for my cousin's wedding. Great! This will leave me time to blog and time to catch up on my new PEOPLE magazine. I am starving at this point because in true father Glatz fashion....he never stopped for lunch. He did manage to get something to eat at a SICK NASTY gas station where I was leery of even going to the bathroom, yet he managed to eat a slice of supreme pizza. (Again...note...my father's sick eating habits.)

Thanks to my handy laptop, I GOOGLE and find there is a Subway down the block from our hotel. It's not too hot outside, so I make my way down the street. I enter the Subway and find a guy in a wife beater who is screaming "I just found a LONG piece of your black hair in my footlong sub (while point to a certified Sandwich Artist with the black hair.) Ask them (pointing to his friends) That was SO sick." At this point I had made it to the "order" station where I promptly turned around and walked out.

Let's hope this day of food gets better and here's to hoping there is an open bar at this wedding reception....Congrats Ali and John!